About a Photo

WARNING : The contents of this post is unsuitable for certain audiences ( ie. minors below the age of 18 and blood relatives).

As the title suggests, this post is about a photo. Not a great photo, not even a particularly memorable one. Just a photo. Some photo. But it managed to bring three people together to create one of the wackiest conversations in the history of conversations. It also brought flooding back, memories of school, memories of friends, and together they spell out only one thing. FUN. Who says time travel isn't possible? It happens all the time, everywhere. All you need are jobless people, and maybe a photo.

I will take this opportunity to thank the inadvertent co-authors of this post Raj and Siddharth (who incidentally has started his own blog and though it may not be as cool as mine, maybe you should check it out ?). I would also like to thank Booths/Coolio for her single word contribution to this post (which, to make it even cooler, is a palindrome). Of course, a few of the jokes are inside jokes among my friends, prime example being cool flux, which will take a few posts to explain, but, eventhough you may not undersatnd parts of it I think in it's entirety it makes for fairly entertaining reading. So without much further ado, I present to you a teeny weeny peek at insanity that is my life.

Deepak wrote at 8:51pm on April 21st, 2008 sanjay looks like he just farted ,karthik like he can smell sanjay's work and kudi like he wants to murder the photographer...

Amrutha wrote at 10:17am on April 22nd, 2008 hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deepak wrote at 12:37pm on April 22nd, 2008 oh and yes, raj is grinning from ear to ear thanks to all the positive cool flux he is getting...

Raj wrote at 2:25pm on April 22nd, 2008 hmmm....i wonder...is this photo worth all the attention its getting???

Sid V wrote at 4:12pm on April 22nd, 2008 i know... deepak's suddenly getting nostalgic

Deepak wrote at 5:07pm on April 22nd, 2008 ya, maybe..after all, all my chaddi dosts are there in this pic no..

Sid Vwrote at 5:38pm on April 22nd, 2008 btw.. where's the hot swiss girlfriend?

Deepak wrote at 5:42pm on April 22nd, 2008 what hot swiss girlfriend??

Sid V wrote at 5:53pm on April 22nd, 2008 the one u were supposed to marry and have swiss kids with...

Deepak wrote at 7:00pm on April 22nd, 2008 was i ?? you told me to but i never said i would..

Amrutha wrote at 10:08am on April 23rd, 2008 you said you would..... don't lie.... lol....

Raj wrote at 3:17pm on April 23rd, 2008 eh...wat is this swiss wife business.....u sure u don mean swiss knife....cause the 2 words are phonetic....and its deepak we're talking about man!!!!...swiss wife it seems.....PS: get me a swiss wife!!! :P

Amrutha wrote at 3:47pm on April 23rd, 2008 lol.... raj you've given up on Indian chicks and behind the Swiss eh????

Deepak wrote at 5:17pm on April 23rd, 2008 and what is 'and its deepak we're talking about man!!!!...swiss wife it seems' supposed to mean?? that i am this full stud machan who s too busy HnD ing swiss chicks to find time to get a wife? or tat even a blind person wont go out with him so what chance does he have with swiss chicks?

Sid V wrote at 5:18pm on April 23rd, 2008 hmmm we'll let raj answer that!

Deepak wrote at 5:23pm on April 23rd, 2008 oh ho...sid v too much for u eh?? just because you got into some stupid college which has creepers growing on it s walls (ivy) you have become too elitist to take part in our conversations uh??!!

Sid V wrote at 5:24pm on April 23rd, 2008 oh shut up.. i didnt make claims as to your dateability or layability as the case may be.. raj did.. so hence let him clarify

Raj wrote at 6:12pm on April 23rd, 2008 all indians are my brothers and sisters.......calm down boys.....@deepak....i meant the 2nd thing you said....HnDing chicks was a good one though!!!!

Amrutha wrote at 10:09am on April 24th, 2008 lol... why all these comments tagged to this fairly good, half-group snap da??? think cash should object to it considering the snap is in his album.. lol.....

Sid V wrote at 11:24am on April 24th, 2008 notice.. all coolio's posts have atleast one "lol" in it.. ideally at the end... lol

Deepak wrote at 1:19pm on April 24th, 2008 he he..i just noticed that..lol..i suppose its cool to say that now so i ll add one more..lol.. @ pandit petu, you are a fat one to talk that i have no chance! and i love that this snap has become like a hang out place for us..it s way better than one of a gazillion of coolio's coffee days anyway..(and just for good measure)..lol..

Deepak wrote at 1:20pm on April 24th, 2008 and raju mone does that mean you will be go bride hunting in distant shores out of fear of committing incest??

Sid V wrote at 1:31pm on April 24th, 2008 haha.. lol... true... lol.. but.. lol.. one more.. lol..

Raj wrote at 2:12pm on April 24th, 2008 aha....good point....im actually looking at extra marital affairs...so deepak...watch out.....i just might be at the other end of your swiss wife.....(and not to be left out)....LOL

Sid V wrote at 2:14pm on April 24th, 2008 at which end ;) ?... not gonna miss it.. lol

Raj wrote at 2:18pm on April 24th, 2008 that's the thing....surprise element...ill be at some end....and when u least expect it...TADAAA!!...my head will pop up....(and once more...)....LOL

Raj wrote at 2:21pm on April 24th, 2008 @deepak....can you imagine how jobless we must be to hangout...with a freaking photo???!!???.....and i just realised...if the other ppl in the snap havent changed their settings on facebook....their mail boxes would be flooded with e-mails giving updates on the comments made on this photo!!!...hehe....oh wait....forgot....LOL

Deepak wrote at 3:09pm on April 24th, 2008 ha ha ha ha..tat is funny!!! it really deserves a..wait for it..LOL.... ya, and i have actually resigned to the fact that we are totally and utterly jobless..and i really dont want to get into the sexual connotations of what you just said...head popping and all.. and yes, the whole basis of an EXTRA marital affair is that it is extra, ie. there has to be a primary MARITAL affair first..and since that is extremely unlikely, nay impossible in your case, whaaatever u said is just one BIG FAT joke and thus deserves only the following response..LOL

Sid V wrote at 3:09pm on April 24th, 2008 LOL

Raj wrote at 3:56pm on April 24th, 2008 now i think we're spiralling outta control man....shit....from where to where we've gone....you do realise we've long stopped commenting on the photo....and gone into unchartered territory????

Raj wrote at 3:56pm on April 24th, 2008 oh shit...my previous post didnt have an LOL....LOL....

Amrutha wrote at 4:59pm on April 24th, 2008 copyrights for 'lol' resevered... go and get yourselves some other word to use........

Deepak wrote at 5:09pm on April 24th, 2008 it s a LOL not an LOL raj...lol..

Deepak wrote at 5:27pm on April 24th, 2008 ok..just to get back on course since raj is worried we ll all be flung out of the milky way into a galaxy far far away due to the centrifugal force of our 'out of control spiralling', uchil looks high, but of course that is just stating the painfully obvious..

Deepak wrote at 10:29pm on April 24th, 2008 apparently raj has retired from this insanity to do BETTER things like counting the stars in the sky...almost forgot..lol

Sid V wrote at 3:12pm on April 25th, 2008 ok yes.. back to the photo.. (lol) .. why does ram look like he's squatting on the floor?!

Deepak wrote at 3:45pm on April 25th, 2008 well, it may just be that his chair/ couch is a low one but the more likely reason according to me is that ram is a low life(tat s a sad sad one..) due to a combination of 2 factors.. 1. he very intelligently realized that a fart is nothing but smelly hot air, and since hot air rises a good way to avoid it is to keep low..(for people who lost track of our conversation refer to the 1st few comments) 2.he is being suppressed by negative cool flux and is therefore forced to go even lower..LOL..

Sid V wrote at 3:56pm on April 25th, 2008 true.. both factors are equally probable.. i think we should invite more people to add to this discussion... lol

Deepak wrote at 5:06pm on April 25th, 2008 yes , we should..but i think we r the only active facebookers..or atleast maintaiin this level of activity atleast..he he ..lol

Sid V wrote at 5:23pm on April 25th, 2008 btw.. did anyone notice the chick-in-a-cup?

Deepak wrote at 7:51pm on April 25th, 2008 you didnt say lol...lol..

......the saga might continue....

Butlers should go on Strike

All my loverly peoples, I am overcome with the desire to type in absolutely rotten butler/chaprasi English (Why do we call it butler English? if anything butlers have impeccable English, take Jeeves for example. It's a wonder they haven't gone up in arms protesting such random, arbitrary and totally unjust characterization.). me wish me knew why. Strange it is, those whims and fancies of my half demented brain. also, some interesting stuff has happened which i want to write about but i am suffering from writer's block (whoa...too much i think of myself). but seriously, every time I sit down to write about it my fingers just freeze up. I also just don't feel like correcting what i write, you know, like starting with a capital letter or writing I's in capitals (oh, i just did) or ending the sentence with just one stop....i wouldn't even have crossed my t's or dotted my i's but luckily using a keyboard means that i don't have to. but i will not stoop as low as to skip vowels, and other less important alphabets of a word.

On a totally unrelated matter (well..not totally), do any of you remember English grammar? I dont mean propositions (oh my god!! propositions it seems...prepositions, PREPOSITIONS) and conjunctions or the Past, Present and Future tenses. I am talking about the more complicated tenses like Past Perfect and Present Not So Perfect and Future Totally Imperfect.. Do you remember being taught this at all ?? I remember teachers fruitlessly trying to stuff it down our obstinately thick heads at a very early age, sixth standard or something, but it kept oozing out of our ears. Why were we taught this stuff, which could have your stomach in knots and your brain convulsing in the 6th standard?? On the other hand, in the 10th and 12th all we did was fill in the blanks with conjunctions and PREPOSITIONS and re-arrange sentences, which seems kind of daft to me. Also, can anyone tell me what an 'adverb' and a 'participle' are ?? When a participle kicks the bucket does it become a 'Past Participle'?

Also, Mr.Facebook tells me :

This is a summary of reasons that people gave when asked "Why would you date Deepak Padmakumar?"

1. funny (1 vote)

Now, first of all, I have no issues with girls who might want to date me. Quite happy about the prospect in fact (prefer them to guys any day). But only because I am funny?? hmmmph.. I was hoping for some terms like 'studly' , 'guy of my dreams' and all..But you know what?? I ll be funny till the day i die. Good looks last only that long. Those six packs of abs will soon become paunches due to six packs of beers in no time.

Ok, so now that I have made peace with the fact that I am only funny and not much else, I deserve much more than a measly one vote for funniness!!! So what are you waiting for?? Go, log in to facebook (please don't tell me you don't have an account..even my mom does now), add whichever this stooopid application is which lets you letch at your friends, friends' friends and friends' friends' friends (i dont know which one it is, i must have been bored out of my mind to add it and now i am too lazy to care to remove it) and tell me you will date me because I am funny(Ams, you don't have to do this, that will just be weird). Both guys and girls!! Either way I will be flattered.

P.S. What a random post no? Sorry about that. I am mad. More than you can imagine. More than I can imagine too I am sure...

Our Dumb World - What's in a name?

Just when you thought that evolution is a scientific fact, and that we are making progress, there comes GOD to give you one solid slap on the face. I am sure now that the Bible was right and scientists are wrong. Evolution is all hearsay, because there's not a chance in hell that the main characters in the following story would have survived evolution.

A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.

Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.

The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.

"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.

New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Clarke said officials usually talked to parents who proposed unusual names to convince them about the potential for embarrassment.

Day 2, Split....Part 2 , Toeing Off

We reached Split at around nine in the morning and after a coffee and putting my luggage at the counter, it was time to go exploring. Ofcourse Split is most famous for two things. One, being the home town of Goran Ivanisevic (I love how that comes first in my head) and two, for Diocletian s Palace, the retirement home of one Mr. GAIUS AURELIUS VALERIUS DIOCLETANIUS (and that is just the first 4 in a list of 22 names by the way. I suppose he had a tough time when someone asked him his middle name. And it was 22 when he was emperor. He added a few more just for the fun of it on retiring. I suppose he decided to retire when visiting dignitaries never got his name right. Infact, I am sure he never knew his full name himself. Just imagine waking up and trying to remember what your name is? And then continuing to do that the entire day after which you finally give up and go check the plaque in front of your house) .

Diocletian was famous for his persecution of Christians in the latter half of his life and strived to eradicate Christianity all together. I found it ironic and somehow typically Christian that what was once his masoulem is now a cathedral containing the sarcophagi of two of the saints he had tortured and killed. Infact the only proof that exists that this was old Diocletian's humble abode at all is a small little inscription hidden away in the dark corners of the masoulem. There was even a cafe called LVXOR on the steps of the ruins and I just had to have an espresso there. What i didnt enjoy however was having to pay to enter each and every attraction within the palace walls. It's not the paying persay that I had a problem with, but the number of times I had to take my wallet out. I would have much rather prefrred to pay 50 Kuna at the entrance rather than pay 10 kuna at five different points. There is something quite alarming in seeing your wallet reduce in size like Tom Hanks in Castaway.

Outside the 'Golden Gate' (it's not actually golden, just called golden. the other two gates are called silver and iron. Apparently bronze was not vey highly thought of, as it is today) is a huge statue of Gregory of Nin by Ivan Mestrovic, the most well known of modern Croatian sculptors. The monumental sculpture shows the bishop reading the Bible with his long, reedy fingers (a characteristic of Mestrovic's style) seemingly pointing to his hat, which he seems quite proud of. Grgur Ninski was a 10th century bishop that strongly opposed the Pope and official circles of the Church and introduced the Croatian language in the religious services after the Great Assembly in 926. Until that time, services were held only in Latin, not being understandable to the majority of the population. Not only was this important for Croatian language and culture but it also made the religion stronger within the Croatian nation. Mr.Gregory apparently also had a foot fetish and is quite prepared to bestow upon you good luck and grant your wishes if you give his big toe a good rub. If only he had been my co-passenger last night on the train. He would have been quite the happy chappie. Anyway, his big toe was nice and shiny as a result but the rest of his toes looked neglected. I felt a bit bad about that so gave all his toes a decent rub. I am hoping that earns me brownie points.

Then I hopped onto a bus and went to Kasjuni beach surrounded by pine trees and a lovely mountain back drop. After a quick swim it was time to head back to the bus station to catch my bus to Dubrovnik. I wanted to catch a late night one but that wasn't running that day. This means an extra, unplanned night's accomodation at some hostel. With just 1000 swiss francs with me and no way of withdrawing money from here, it's a scary proposition. I hope I have enough to last the trip. It doesnt help that Dubrovnik is supposed to be really expensive due to the influx of tourists. Otherwise it's the benches at the bus stop for me tonight....

Day 2, Split.... Part 1

Had dinner with Jelena at her mess, moussakka which was quite good. Had an interesting and enlightening conversation with her regarding the war. Then boarded the train to Split. The train was supposed to leave at 10.55 but finally decided to start rolling only at 11.55 or so.When I was saying good bye to Jelena at the station I thought I would impress her with all the European etiquette I had picked and say good bye in 'their' way. It's a dizzying process, touch your cheeks on th either side of theirs three times, all the while making kissing noises. At the end of it your brain is doing cartwheels. When I had finished the 2nd round of these exchanges and, dizzy and faint, proceeded for the third and final one I saw the look of murder in her eye. She looked like she wanted to take a traditional Croatian knife, stick it into my stomach and go to town exploring my insides. Apparently, and sensibly so, Croatians exchange 'fake kisses' only twice when saying good bye, and their 'not so friendly neighbours' Serbia, follow the rest of Europe (or Switzerland atleast) and do it thrice. Hence the look.

In the train, I was joined by a busybody grandad who seemed bent on giving his wife and grandkids the hardest time, lugging them and his million piece of luggage from one compartment to the next. He was soon replaced by a group of three students, part of a larger group, from the UK I think, judging from their language, one of which was a not bad-looking girl. I was soon half asleep, and was playing with my seat cushion (why, I have no idea, just those random things you do when you are half asleep I suppose). It was only when i woke up for some water later in the night that I realized that the 'cushion' was actually the girl's foot. Luckily, she was fast asleep and hadn't noticed that I had been giving her an unsolicited foot massage. I went back to sleep making sure my hands were nowhere near her or her feet, and prayed that we reach Split before I did something worse.

Day 1, Zagreb, Meeting with a Hired Assassin

The flight from Zurich to Zagreb was just one ham sandwich and a glass of coke long. We were landing even before I realized we had taken off! I first thought that the captain was just kidding but the flight is actually only that long.
Met a friendly American chap from Los Angeles, who surprise surprise, came and spoke to me because he saw the Lonely Planet guide in my hand. To all solo travellers looking for some company, my advice to them is to carry a LP in their hands. Within a minute someone is sure to come up to you and ask you about the stuff LP recommends. Anyway this chap said he works in some geo-politics thing, said he works for different governments on short term basis and has an 'independent contract' which gives him the freedom to work how he wants. His work has taken him to Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan among other places. I suppose you must have reached the same conclusion as I have by now. He has to be a professional killer!! Anyway he was on his way to Sarajevo he said, so if there are any readers from there, and you are important, if you die in the next few days dont tell me I didnt warn you! We took the bus to the central station together after which he split to Split (he he..you can tell how much i wanted to use that phrase, cant you?).

I headed to my hostel, a quaint little thing at the outskirts close to the football stadium,called Ravnice. Had a late start to the morning after a good night's sleep and have been exploring the city since when i decided it s time to give my poor legs a rest. Zagreb is a heady blend of Eastern and Western Europe. There are examples of lovely baroque architecture and glum looking residential buildings, typical of eastern Europe all rolled into one.

The popular pastimes in the capital city include renovating buildings, driving in reverse all the time, parking on the pavement and abandoning vehicles in the middle of busy streets. The number of buildings getting a work over is simply astounding. Unfortunately, these also include some of the tourist attractions so I have't been able to see them in their full glory.

Considering that Croatia and Turkey are not really 'chaddi dosts' ( Turkey have been trying to invade Croatia since the medeival times and in the modern times, most recently in Euro 08, they have proven to be Croatia's nemesis in football) , there seem to be an awful lot of Turkish kebab restaraunts. The same is the case in Switzerlnd as well. I am convinced that kebab is the cornerstone of the Turkish foreign policy.

So , what have i done today? Visited the main churches of course, apart from roaming the streets of the old town and Maksimir, which is apparently the largest and most beautiful park in South East Europe. Also, visited the Mirogoj cemetery which is the most beautiful cemetrery in the world (yes, they have a beauty rating for cemeteries too it seems). It's outer walls are built like a fortress with giant cupolas on them . I dont know why though? Not like the people housed inside need any protecting, they are all protected by God now. I suppose it's a back-up just in case God fails. Also hunted for a place to cut my hair, bought apricots and cherries from Dolac fruit market and also this notebook called Moleskine. It's tagline says, 'the legendary notebook of Hemingway, Picasso, Chatwin'. I suppose they should add, 'and now also by a wannabe blogger'. The cost was a bit steep, but I like it, especially the elastic band and leather binding. But for me to hope that it improves my writing is taking it a bit too far don't you think?

Anyway, my hour is almost up now. Need to go resume my hunt for a salon/saloon or whatever and visit Lotrscak Tower for a 360¨panorama view of the city. Leave by train tonight to Split.

Bliss in Swiss in Croatia !!

Hello, As you might have guessed I am in Croatia on vacation for a few days. Not to fear, I will still try to keep keep you up to date with the mundane, day to day happenings in my life. It's way easier than writing a mail to each and every one of you anyway. Pictures will be missing from the posts I suppose but I'll add them once I am back home in Ruti. So stay tuned...