Butlers should go on Strike

All my loverly peoples, I am overcome with the desire to type in absolutely rotten butler/chaprasi English (Why do we call it butler English? if anything butlers have impeccable English, take Jeeves for example. It's a wonder they haven't gone up in arms protesting such random, arbitrary and totally unjust characterization.). me wish me knew why. Strange it is, those whims and fancies of my half demented brain. also, some interesting stuff has happened which i want to write about but i am suffering from writer's block (whoa...too much i think of myself). but seriously, every time I sit down to write about it my fingers just freeze up. I also just don't feel like correcting what i write, you know, like starting with a capital letter or writing I's in capitals (oh, i just did) or ending the sentence with just one stop....i wouldn't even have crossed my t's or dotted my i's but luckily using a keyboard means that i don't have to. but i will not stoop as low as to skip vowels, and other less important alphabets of a word.

On a totally unrelated matter (well..not totally), do any of you remember English grammar? I dont mean propositions (oh my god!! propositions it seems...prepositions, PREPOSITIONS) and conjunctions or the Past, Present and Future tenses. I am talking about the more complicated tenses like Past Perfect and Present Not So Perfect and Future Totally Imperfect.. Do you remember being taught this at all ?? I remember teachers fruitlessly trying to stuff it down our obstinately thick heads at a very early age, sixth standard or something, but it kept oozing out of our ears. Why were we taught this stuff, which could have your stomach in knots and your brain convulsing in the 6th standard?? On the other hand, in the 10th and 12th all we did was fill in the blanks with conjunctions and PREPOSITIONS and re-arrange sentences, which seems kind of daft to me. Also, can anyone tell me what an 'adverb' and a 'participle' are ?? When a participle kicks the bucket does it become a 'Past Participle'?

Also, Mr.Facebook tells me :

This is a summary of reasons that people gave when asked "Why would you date Deepak Padmakumar?"

1. funny (1 vote)

Now, first of all, I have no issues with girls who might want to date me. Quite happy about the prospect in fact (prefer them to guys any day). But only because I am funny?? hmmmph.. I was hoping for some terms like 'studly' , 'guy of my dreams' and all..But you know what?? I ll be funny till the day i die. Good looks last only that long. Those six packs of abs will soon become paunches due to six packs of beers in no time.

Ok, so now that I have made peace with the fact that I am only funny and not much else, I deserve much more than a measly one vote for funniness!!! So what are you waiting for?? Go, log in to facebook (please don't tell me you don't have an account..even my mom does now), add whichever this stooopid application is which lets you letch at your friends, friends' friends and friends' friends' friends (i dont know which one it is, i must have been bored out of my mind to add it and now i am too lazy to care to remove it) and tell me you will date me because I am funny(Ams, you don't have to do this, that will just be weird). Both guys and girls!! Either way I will be flattered.

P.S. What a random post no? Sorry about that. I am mad. More than you can imagine. More than I can imagine too I am sure...