Bond, with the Best

A few weeks back I found an invitation in my inbox. To do a bungee jump. Not just any bungee jump, but the world's highest. This is what it said about the jump:

"The jumping height of 220 m not only means world record off ground, it is also the most famous bungee jump world wide. Mr. James Bond, in the film Goldeneye, jumped off this very wall of the Verzasca dam exactly here in Ticino. It is considered to be the best stunt in movie history. Professional jump masters on site ensure your safe jump. All you have to bring along is the courage to jump."




Yes, you read that right. 220 m above the ground, that is just a trifle over 710 feet. A body would free fall for 7.5 seconds and attain a maximum speed of 120km/hr. And all I needed to bring was 'courage to jump' (they conveniently forgot to mention the money). They also forgot one more thing. Copious doses of stupidity.

Now, it's common knowledge that stupidity is something God gifted me in abundance with, so I seriously considered doing the jump. It didn't help matters when during the Rafting Weekend (to which i will dedicate an entirely different post later) in Interlaken I heard about a fatal jump in which the 'professional jump masters' used a 180 m cord for a 100 m jump. Me and a good friend, Tony , made a pact. Each would do the jump if the other did. Unfortunately, he didn't make it to the list of participants in the weekend and his registration died a silent death in the waiting list (hmmm...is that poultry I smell?). Now it was all up to me. Unfortunately, God was also responsible for making me a top rated wimp. I sat on the fence for the longest possible time, until after a strenuous trek, dam safely hidden from view I handed over my money. I even borrowed some of it from Emma. I would have normally taken that as a sign from God to let sanity prevail and not jump. I am still to discover what trance I was in then. I suspect dehydration and hypoglycemia were the culprits.

A few steps up lead to a birds-eye view of the dam. I got up there and the first words out of my mouth were,' F*^#K! I paid the money. What have i got myself into now!' As I signed the release form, which basically exempted the company from any responsibility if I were to die or become a useless vegetable I silently cursed the 'land divers' of Vanuatu, young men,responsible for inspiring the invention of this deadly sport, who jumped from wooden platforms with vines tied to their feet as a test of their courage(and of course, stupidity). Finally, after a wait that lasted almost forever I was finally saddled up to a wide assortment of ropes and hooks. I was given some initial instructions and asked to repeat a few exercises. I made an absolute fool of myself and thought of quitting then and there, but braved on. I thought of my school motto , "Courage is Destiny". Would it be my destiny to have my life come to a crashing halt due to a crushing blow at the foot of a dam? If my school motto was anything to go by, that could very well be.

They asked me to step up to the platform. I did. I tried to look nonchalant, as cool as a cucumber. To everyone else, the sight of me tapping my heels like a 'stud macha' seemed like I was waiting impatiently to jump. In reality, inside me emotions were boiling over. There I was, about to free fall more than 700 feet, with the only thing preventing me from marmalading myself to the rocks below being a glorified rubber band tied to my lower limbs. The jump master said i should do a full stretch jump. It would look good on the video he said. 'Really?', I thought to myself. I wondered if they would play it at my funeral. 'Should I use these last few moments to choose a song to be played at the service as well?'.

The previous jumper had been reeled in. It was my turn now to take that leap of faith. Out of nowhere came this sea of calm that swept through me. I think my brain just switched off. ' 3....2....1', I remember the jump master said, but I don't remember jumping. I could see my shadow descending rapidly down on the dam wall, but I couldn't feel myself falling. Not until the cord extended and jerked at my leg. On my second bounce I let out a scream. Not out of fear, I was ecstatic. I was flying. Before I knew it, my body had bounced 4-5 times, like a yo-yo, and I was reeled back in. The jump was over. My experimentation with 'Learning to Fly' done.

Thanks to Sarah I have this lovely video of me doing 'the jump'. It's a real stunner. A good old-fashioned girly scream in the background would have been nice though. If I ever make a Hollywood movie I'll ask Sarah to direct it. If you ever make a Hollywood movie you should ask Sarah to direct it. She'll do it for as little as the loaning to her of a good book. Talking about movies, if any of the Bond producers happen to be reading this. When you get bored of old Danny boy and want a new 007, give me a ring. I don't have a funny accent. Plus I do my own stunts...





And if you want to watch how Bond did it in Goldeneye :