Not very cute

Blogger's note: OK, to fully understand where this post comes from you will have to do 2 things:

1. listen to the following piece of music(Just follow the link below). Pay particularly close attention between seconds 2:19 to 2:25


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8JppA8MWyg



2.Once you finish listening to the song, you have a time limit of 10 minutes to complete reading the post. You will find out why later.




Now i proceed presuming that you have listened to the lyrical masterpiece by Keating. I was listening to my mp3 player the other day when this particular line from the song really moved me. By moved i mean it had me on the floor laughing my head off! If you still have no clue what I am referring to, it is to this one particular line in the song, 'cuter than a bug in a rug'. Yes, his lady love(s) is cuter than a bug in a rug! That is the best he could come up with! Doesnt say much about his girl though if she is only cuter than an invertebrate insect on treated animal skin used as floor covering. I am sure African pygmies high on Savanna grass can come up with better lines than that.
I figured that we should create a database for such brutally honest crooners who want to sing love ballads with an essence of truth in them. This is for those a cut apart from the rest who dont want to sing the usual 'My heart will go on and on ' crap because they know that no matter what, one fine day, your heart WILL stop. So here is a list of 'cuter than...' similies for singers whose girlfriends are not necessarily cuter than a bug in a rug. Feel free to add to the list..

1. cuter than a witch in a ditch

2.cuter than a panda in a anaconda
This would be ideal if there is a musical collaboration between the Chinese and the Amazon jungle dwellers, but for that to happen China will have to resolve the Tibet issue.Apparently the Amazonians are firm supporters of the Dalai Lama and the Free Tibet movement.

3. cuter than a snake on a cake
( the girl will have to be particularly hideous for someone to use this one i suppose)

Reason for the time limit: When i re-read the post after writing it, i didnt find it the least bit funny although when i wrote it it seemed hilarious. I attribute that to temporary insanity caused by the song. After conducting a number of scientific tests (that number being zero) I have ascertained that this insanity lasts for 10 minutes. So to find this post the least bit funny you will have to read it within 10 minutes of listening to the song.

The Paradox of Our Age

jus added the pic to make my number of posts reach double figures..but these words really got me thinking..so i thought i d stimulate your brains as well..ha ha

(click on pic for larger image)

NASA Baffled by Failure of Straw Shuttle

another great article from theonion.com


NASA's lightweight straw space shuttle tragically burst into flames upon rocket-fuel ignition

NASA officials watched in horror Monday as the $68 billion straw space shuttle, Explorer 2, burst into flames just after liftoff from Cape Canaveral.

The four American and three Russian astronauts onboard were killed instantly, despite their protective all-straw space suits. Technicians were stunned by the failure, which capped a flawless six-month pre-launch test period. They count faulty twine among the possible causes of the accident.

"The straw ship was dry, light-weight and well-bailed enough to break the earth's orbit, but inexplicably burst into flames when ignited with 3,000 gallons of rocket fuel," said NASA Chief Engineer George Toshikima. "This is a devastating setback for NASA."

An estimated 30 birds, eight voles and 23 mice who had nested in the ship's outer hull or burrowed homes deep in the ship's straw engines also perished in the blast.The material holding the ship in place was top-quality burlap bailing twine, purchased in bulk from Cape Canaveral's leading farm equipment supplier.

The straw ship was constructed with over 200,000 bales of U.S. Grade E straw, baled, tied and pitched from NASA's Cape Canaveral farm, and stored over the planting season in the launchpad barn. "It was nice and crisp and dry," Toshikima said. "Which is the best condition for straw headed away from the earth's gravitational pull."According to accident reports, the one-eighth-inch thick string was possibly not tied tightly enough or not weaved correctly around a critical fuel-delivery gasket, which may have caused the ship to unravel.

Toshikima does not believe such a small imperfection could have caused the massive explosion. "We are still trying to determine why it suddenly burst into flames," he said. "In all the pre-fueling tests, the procedure went perfectly, but as soon as we ignited the fuel, it exploded. Why?"
Some insiders fault a problem that occurred last week, when a section of the ship's starboard high-pressure re-entry tiles was eaten by a horse.

"The horse should not have been on the launchpad," NASA grounds coordinator Nathan Meersen said. "He ate a critical section of the ship, and it set us back one full day to re-bale and re-tie that section."Meersen said the horse was returned to NASA stables and given a suitable meal, remnants from the department's long-abandoned, all-hay Mars probe.Although some reports indicate goats may have gnawed at the ship's exterior cables, NASA scientists maintain that there was never a problem with goats.

Explorer 1, NASA's first straw ship, was built in 1994, but after 11 months of painstaking preparation, it was destroyed the day before the launch when it unexpectedly rained.
The Explorer 2, like its predecessor, was headed for the sun, where it was to be the first spacecraft to land on a star."We'd hoped to bring back and study sun rock," Toshikima said.
The straw ship had been equipped with a special reinforced-wicker basket to hold the sun lava for its journey back to Earth. A straw-enforced robot arm was constructed to scoop the lava, which is reportedly as hot as the center of a nuclear holocaust, and place it into the wicker basket.The ship's debris is slated to be used as mulch.

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The most amazing e mail service provider in the world, with another outstanding application..You can virtually travel back in time using this application. Click on the link above to find out more!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey all you people with nothing better to do than read my blog,

(that's me showing you a monkey face...he he)

For all of you who think that i write this blog as an outlet for my emotions and thoughts, or a tool to improve my literary prowess or for just the joy of writing, I am sorry to say that you are sadly mistaken. The only reason i write is to read all the good things you have to say about my writing and bask in my own self-importance. So, you have two choices....

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yours bloggingly,
the guy who should be treating his readers better considering he has so few of them...